Short Story Corner

LUCKY

By L.V.

If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. “She’s on a losing streak” the relatives would conspiratorially whisper, secretly glad they were not me. … Be the best You can be … they demand while standing an inch from my face, invading my space. Don’t get your nose out of joint, it’s just a few scratches on the car, a few nights hanging with hookers in bars, a few scrapes on the knee, a few rugs covered in cat pee, a few scuffles with foes no bigger then buffaloes.

You are an odd duck. No need to cry over split milk. You’re down in the dumps. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start again. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today……. Once bitten, twice shy, I cry. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

She certainly bit off more than she could chew. We will help you. We were not yanking your chain. Listen to use we tell only the truth. Go jump in the lake the urge. Time to sink or swim. … Where do you think you’re going. Don’t expect to go out in a blaze of glory.

Keep flapping your gums, you are full of hot air, words trickle from my mouth as I exit as fast as a cat on a hot tin roof. Soon losing sight of the reason for flight; mulling over their advice, I find it hard to swallow.

A hospital intern caught me climbing the walls on my way through the roof. In a most pleasant f bedside manner he remarked Flipped your lid … I see … Did you Drive Yourself  crazy. No, I shrieked, I had help. They got under my skin. Creeping and crawling and caterwauling. Get a grip, your losing your mind, the intern intones as I shake my head vigorously in hopes of  dislodging the plump lump. With a knowing nod he calmly continued. I understand you’ve hit every dump on the road, been kicked when your down …     Have you ever felt that you are tetering on the edge?

A kind doctor removed the obstruction. As easy as pulling a knife through hot butter. A lobotomy in not everyone’s Cup of Tea … But it seems to have done the trick. … What will happen next?

That’s a no-brainer.

Look what the cat dragged in. Well if it isn’t You again. Long time no see. Thought we had seen the llast of You. Hey, Goddy-Two-Shoes, haven’t you heard. The good, they die young. You’re getting long in the tooth.

She can’t do anything right. You’re walking a slippery slope. One foot on a banana peel, the Other in the grave. When Push come to Shove, it’s Time to Lend a hand.